Until I say "I do", I'm single. But how single? Am I single when it benefits me? Am I single because "technically" we haven't made it official although we act like were "together"? Or Maybe you're single because "if he liked it then he shoulda put a ring on it" but he hasn't and theres been no talk of a trip to Jared's. Fellas are "single for the night" like Lil Wayne because "what she don't know won't hurt her".
The list goes on, making monogamy in the dating game to seem non-existent and even more so during the "talking" stage of a relationship. The term single has been heavily used for convenience, in our generation, labeling main prospects as "wifey" or the "hubby" giving false sense of title and relational duties.
It always seems as though one party is totally committed to the "what can be", while the other is committed to the well..."what it is right now". Now, Im not saying either party is wrong in their interpretation of what the relationship is, especially when it hasnt been discussed. However, to avoid one from thinking the other is "wrong", conversation on the gray areas has to happen. The picture of what the relationship is or isnt would be so much clearer if we actually communicated with each other. The lack of communcitaion has got us walking around in non-commited situations with an assumed basis of boundaries and expectations for relationships. Im sure youre familar with the saying of "when you assume you make an-->ASS/u/Me" exactly, you said it right.
With that being said, one of the main misconceptions about men/women when it comes to the "I'm dating around,and exploring my options" scenario. Society has planted the thought that its acceptable for men to have options and explore them in every avenue possible (especially sex) but not as much with women. Its automatically again "ASSumed" that a female is "loose" or sleeping around with everyman just because she's made it known that she's "seeing other people". The thought that maybe she's not sexually involved with anyone outside of commitment is rarely entertained. Yet, its just accepted and understood that if a man says hes "seeing other people" sex is a package deal with the process. Whether or not he is or isn't doesn't seem to have the same effect on "his" image as it would "hers". Who are we to judge what "seeing other people" really entails in someones' journey to finding the right one. After all, because he/she is "single" are they not entitled to do what/who they want to do,see who they want to see or go where he/she wants to go? I'm sure there's plenty of accusations we can make for whats "okay" for the single sexes to do and argue them, but that's another post.
Now, yes, for those"technically no" people out there until we say, "we do" we are single when filing taxes even if your in a relationship, but do you govern the social aspects of your life by the government or your W2's? I doubt you do.
With that being said, whether you're completely committed to someone, emotionally single and physically committed or "vice versa" pick one. Make you're stance known especially to the ones who cross your path with an interest in "getting to know" you. Those in a situation where you're not sure what the situation is, talk, get answers and make a decision. Should the outcome be a relationship or the "idea" of one with each other take it seriously.
I leave you with this. Until you say "I do" do you, but keep in mind that, whatever your "doing you" is, can both positively/negatively impact those wanting to be with you, the ones that were and the ones you may influence.
The list goes on, making monogamy in the dating game to seem non-existent and even more so during the "talking" stage of a relationship. The term single has been heavily used for convenience, in our generation, labeling main prospects as "wifey" or the "hubby" giving false sense of title and relational duties.
It always seems as though one party is totally committed to the "what can be", while the other is committed to the well..."what it is right now". Now, Im not saying either party is wrong in their interpretation of what the relationship is, especially when it hasnt been discussed. However, to avoid one from thinking the other is "wrong", conversation on the gray areas has to happen. The picture of what the relationship is or isnt would be so much clearer if we actually communicated with each other. The lack of communcitaion has got us walking around in non-commited situations with an assumed basis of boundaries and expectations for relationships. Im sure youre familar with the saying of "when you assume you make an-->ASS/u/Me" exactly, you said it right.
With that being said, one of the main misconceptions about men/women when it comes to the "I'm dating around,and exploring my options" scenario. Society has planted the thought that its acceptable for men to have options and explore them in every avenue possible (especially sex) but not as much with women. Its automatically again "ASSumed" that a female is "loose" or sleeping around with everyman just because she's made it known that she's "seeing other people". The thought that maybe she's not sexually involved with anyone outside of commitment is rarely entertained. Yet, its just accepted and understood that if a man says hes "seeing other people" sex is a package deal with the process. Whether or not he is or isn't doesn't seem to have the same effect on "his" image as it would "hers". Who are we to judge what "seeing other people" really entails in someones' journey to finding the right one. After all, because he/she is "single" are they not entitled to do what/who they want to do,see who they want to see or go where he/she wants to go? I'm sure there's plenty of accusations we can make for whats "okay" for the single sexes to do and argue them, but that's another post.
Now, yes, for those"technically no" people out there until we say, "we do" we are single when filing taxes even if your in a relationship, but do you govern the social aspects of your life by the government or your W2's? I doubt you do.
With that being said, whether you're completely committed to someone, emotionally single and physically committed or "vice versa" pick one. Make you're stance known especially to the ones who cross your path with an interest in "getting to know" you. Those in a situation where you're not sure what the situation is, talk, get answers and make a decision. Should the outcome be a relationship or the "idea" of one with each other take it seriously.
I leave you with this. Until you say "I do" do you, but keep in mind that, whatever your "doing you" is, can both positively/negatively impact those wanting to be with you, the ones that were and the ones you may influence.
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